Finding the Right Therapist: What to Consider Before You Begin
- Jodun Du Puy
- May 7
- 5 min read
Starting therapy can feel like a big step — and it is. Whether you're seeking support for a specific issue, going through a transition, or simply want to understand yourself better, choosing the right therapist can make all the difference. But with so many options and styles available, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Here are some helpful considerations to guide you as you begin.
In-Person or Online?
One of the first things to decide is whether you’d prefer in-person or online therapy. Both options can be equally effective, but they offer slightly different experiences.
In-person therapy can feel more personable. You’re physically sharing space with your therapist, which can help you feel less alone, especially if you’re navigating something isolating. It offers a dedicated, confidential environment that’s separate from the places you usually associate with work, relaxation, or family. That boundary — physically stepping into a space that’s just for you — can feel grounding and significant. If you’re working with someone like me, who combines art-making with talking therapy, in-person work also allows us to use materials together and experience the creative process side by side.
On the other hand, online therapy is incredibly convenient. You can work with someone whose style or approach really resonates with you, regardless of where they’re based. It opens up your options in terms of price, availability, and accessibility — which can be especially helpful if you're juggling a busy schedule or have mobility needs. Some people also find that being in their own home helps them feel safer or more relaxed during sessions.
Whichever option you choose, what matters most is that it works for you and your life.
Understanding What You’re Looking For
Once you’ve decided on the format, it helps to spend a bit of time thinking about what you want from therapy. This doesn’t mean you need to have it all figured out — many people come to therapy precisely because they don’t know what they need. But having some sense of what you’re drawn to, or how you like to explore things, can help you choose someone who feels like a good fit.
It’s also useful to understand a bit about the different types of professionals out there:
Psychiatrists are medical doctors who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication. They often work alongside therapists or psychologists.
Psychologists usually have a doctorate in psychology and focus on assessment, diagnosis, and evidence-based treatments, often in more structured or research-driven ways.
Psychotherapists and counsellors are trained to support people through emotional, relational, or psychological difficulties, often through regular, ongoing sessions. Counsellors may focus more on present-day concerns, while psychotherapists often draw from psychoanalysis, exploring early experiences, unconscious processes, and long-term patterns.
Within those roles, there are also many therapeutic approaches — such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), psychoanalytic therapy, compassion-focused therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and many more. Each has its own way of understanding and working with emotional distress.
You don’t need to become an expert in these, but it helps to know that how a therapist works is just as important as who they are. Ask yourself:
Are you looking for practical strategies to manage anxiety?
Are you hoping to go deeper into the roots of your patterns and past experiences?
Would you like to use creativity and self-expression in your therapy?
Are you looking for individual, couples, family, or dyadic (parent and child) therapy?
Identity and Inclusivity
For many people, aspects like race, culture, sexuality, gender, neurodivergence, or disability can influence what they need in a therapist. You deserve to feel seen, respected, and safe — so don’t hesitate to seek out someone who either shares aspects of your identity or actively works in an inclusive, affirming way. Some directories allow you to filter by these criteria.
Booking a Consultation
Most therapists offer a free introductory call, which is a great opportunity to get a feel for the person and the way they work. If you’re considering in-person therapy, you can also book a full consultation, which is usually a 50-minute appointment. This is a chance to see their space — how it feels to be in the room, and whether it feels like somewhere you could feel safe and open.
A consultation isn’t a commitment — it’s an exploration. Notice how you feel during the conversation. Do you feel heard and respected? Do you feel like you could maybe talk to this person about things that matter to you? You don’t have to feel fully comfortable yet (therapy can be a little exposing at first), but you should feel that the potential for trust and connection is there.
You might find it helpful to ask:
How do you usually work with someone experiencing [insert issue]?
What kinds of therapy do you draw from?
How do you decide on goals together?
What does a typical session look like?
How do you handle endings or reviews?
A good therapist will also be clear with you about practicalities. This includes time frames, boundaries, confidentiality, data protection, payment terms, and how to raise concerns or make a complaint. These aren’t awkward topics — they’re important foundations for safety and transparency in the therapeutic space. This information should also be sent to you in written form so that you’re giving informed consent before agreeing to start.
What If It Doesn’t Feel Right?
Sometimes it takes a little while to find the right match — and that’s okay. If something doesn’t feel quite right, trust your instincts. You’re allowed to take your time, try a few consultations, and even change therapists later on. A good therapist will understand if you decide it’s not the right fit.
In my practice, we always begin with a six-week assessment period and end with a review to check in on how everything feels for you. That way, we make space to reflect and adjust if needed. It can be helpful to share with your therapist at any point if you are feeling unsure or wanting to end so that there is an opportunity to make changes to the therapy and for them to hear your thoughts and feelings.
The Relationship is Key
Ultimately, therapy is about the relationship between you and your therapist. Research consistently shows that the relationship — more than the specific method or approach — is one of the biggest factors in whether therapy is helpful. You don’t have to get it perfect the first time. What matters is that you feel seen, safe, and able to bring your full self into the space.
Therapy should feel empowering. You are not handing over control — you’re stepping into a space that supports your growth, healing, and autonomy. A good therapist helps you stay connected to your own voice and agency, even when the work gets deep or challenging. I always encourage my clients to share even their tricky feelings about therapy, because that’s part of the process. What feels difficult in the therapy room often echoes what’s difficult outside it — and exploring that together can be incredibly meaningful.
So if you are someone you know is looking for in person in South East London or online therapy then why not take that first step and click the image below to book an intial free discovery call with me, let's see how I might be able to help!
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