“Self care” “me time” and “mental health days” have all become buzz words and we are finally at a point where mental health is starting to be something we don’t need to hide, be ashamed of, or deny, but what does it mean to really look after our mental health?
No two lives are the same, therefore we all have different tolerances, thresholds, capacity and resistance to what life throws at us and it is so important to not only acknowledge this but accept that we are not all the same. This is so important to consider when deciding what is best for you and those around you. How we process and experience emotions can vary immensely from person to person and this will invariably affect how much focus time, nurture and care you may need around managing your emotional well being. When it comes to mental health we cannot follow a generic, cookie cutter approach to what we need, how much we need or how often. We are all different.
So where do we start? Here is my A to E to improving your mental health:
Acknowledgement: Firstly acknowledging where are you at, and what you have experienced or do experience. Bereavement, neurodiversity, trauma, Childhood adversity health conditions, being a carer, family demands and work stress are just some of the aspects to consider, again it is unique to each person. Find your base line.
Ask yourself some questions, observe yourself over a few days and write down your answers. Do you feel your mood is pretty even? Do you find you can feel a full range of emotions without getting overwhelmed, over-reacting, avoiding, numbing, ignoring or blaming? How do you react to difficult events, conversations and relationships? Do you shut down, pretend “everything's fine”, not want to trouble others, or are over reliant on others? Do you find you reach for the wine/chocolate/doom scrolling, over-use or neglect the gym when you've had a tough day?
It may be during this initial step that you realise that you need or want professional help which is a brilliant and positive discovery. Reaching out to your GP is a great place to start to discuss what support is on offer. However you can also access private therapy for a consultation or to arrange one to one help. The Counselling Directory, BACP and the UKCP are all great places to start. You can also contact me for a one off consultation to see how I might be able to help.
Boundaries: Based on your discovery do you feel you want to make your mental health BETTER or maintain BALANCE? Saying it out loud, or writing it down is a great first step and sharing with someone else is even better: Healthier happy you means healthier happy relationships.
Sharing can also help deepen a relationship by allowing others to understand you and support you to bring about healthy changes. This can empower you to feel you are able to put in some boundaries to prioritise time and space to work on your mental health. It can also spark conversations for you to support someone else to improve their's.
Consistency: So now you’ve identified where you are at, got a bit of support and ring fenced some time and space, consistency is crucial. Mental health is like physical health going to the gym once a week is not going to get you fit! Better mental health needs commitment and consistency. As a therapist I know, see and experience the deep value of weekly therapy but I also encourage my clients to start adding in regular mental health time. I notice in my own mental health the changes when I don't give myself daily time, space and focus. The more struggles we have, the more we need this to understand ourselves better and change habitual thoughts and patterns.
It might be that you can only fit 15mins twice a day, remember anything is better than nothing, and consistency is the key to change as is sustainability! Book end your day….How you start and end your day is so important. The best way to know how much you need is reflecting after a week to see how it's going .
Decide: Now lets decide what it is you need. Before addressing your mental health, assessing your physical health is a great start. Improving these areas are scientifically proven to improve mental health. Are you getting enough sleep, exercise, time in nature, connecting with others, relaxation, good nutrients, water and time away from technology? Are you reliant on alcohol, sugar, shopping or social media? Research published in the "Journal of Affective Disorders" found that individuals who walked in nature reported lower levels of rumination and negative thinking.….Reducing stimulants, toxins and artificiality allows our bodies time to recharge, refuel and rebalance.
Now lets set aside whatever time you can and embrace your new routine.
A great place to start to improve your mental health is meditation, mindfulness, visualisations, a gratitude diary, yoga, exercise, time in nature, journalling and sharing your thoughts and feelings with people you trust. It's important to have time to bring the mind into the present as we can spend a lot of time worrying about the future or ruminating on the past. Sometimes the one from this list you are resistant of, could be the very thing you need. Pushing lovingly out of our comfort zones is the only place we can go to bring about change. “We become a master of our mind or a slave to it”. Sakyong Mipham
Our thinking and feeling patterns are strengthened by repeated exposure, so creating new patterns means repeated exposure to new ways of being. This takes time, practice, commitment and a little discomfort. Creating new habits can be daunting. In the book 365 days with self discipline, Martin Meadow writes about breaking through the initial resistance of creating a new habit by lowering expectation and the fear of failure. "If you're afraid that you'll fail to develop a habit of getting up early, consider it a 30-day experiment...........no matter how your experiment goes, it's a success. After all, you aren't trying to make a permanent change: you only want to test a hypothesis. Usually if the experiment goes well, it leads to a permanent change."
Enjoy: These new habits should start to feel enjoyable as you are connecting and learning more about yourself. One final aspect in my A to E of improving your mental health is the importance of elevating your mood on a daily basis. Elevating your mood creates a positive feedback loop that enhances your overall well-being and resilience against stress. “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” Thich Nhat Hanh. You can start by making a list of all things you enjoy doing or want to do and schedule them into your week, the more playful the better! It can be a great way to try something new, connect with others or meet new people. See these dates in your diary as important as a doctors appointment, as ultimately you are improving your over all health!
So what steps are you going to take to improve your mental health?
Remember whatever ways you feel inspired to improve your mental health it not only benefits you, your friends and family but it also has a ripple effect on the world around you! Together let’s make our world a happier healthier place.
Do you feel inspired to make some changes?
0%Yes!
0%Maybe
0%No I feel I'm good where I'm at right now
Thank you for reading! I hope you found this post insightful. Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments below and share this post with your friends. Stay tuned for more updates next month!
Really insightful blog with some great practical steps to take postiive action today! Am totally inspred and will remember this A to E of tips. Thank you Jodun and please keep the advice coming I find your blogs super helpful and look forward to next month already 😊